OpenID for Jeff Bristow

I have attempted to write this for a few weeks. Each time I ended up with a very random, poorly written, and confusing mess, that were my thoughts. I needed some more time to process everything happening in my life. Enough time has passed, so here is an update.

A few weeks ago it was decided that Jaime and I would not be able to adopt a 13 year old that we had grown to know and love. I have a special place in my heart for him, he is the son that I had hoped to bring into my family. That won’t be happening now, and I truly feel a deep loss. A loss that not even Jaime understands. I feel like I have lost a son. A son that I never had, at least in any legal sense.

The same day that this decision was made, Jaime began having contractions during dinner which took us to a very unscheduled trip to OB Triage. The contractions were confirmed and it was a scary few hours. I didn’t even have time to process the loss from earlier in the day and I was already tossing around all of the various scenarios of a son that could be born 3 months early. They were able to get Jaime’s contractions to stop and gave us the green light that we could go home near midnight. It was a real relief. But by this time I was so exhausted that all I could think about was going to sleep.

At 6:00am Jaime woke me up and said the contractions were back. So, I jumped up and got us down to the hospital once again. They ran a few more tests that they had not done the night before, and after a few hours we were once again able to go home. We came home and got some more rest and then the phone rang. We were asked to bring the young man that we were to adopt things back to the group home where he was staying. I offered to bring the items back the following morning but they were insistent that they be returned that evening, and if we didn’t bring them over, that they would need to come and get them. And under the later scenario we would not even be able to see him to say goodbye.

So, we packed up his things and drove them over to him. It was a very difficult drive for me. It almost seemed like a dream. Like somehow I would wake up and learn that this wasn’t actually happening. But waking up never happened, we arrived. This was really happening.

He seemed to be doing well when we saw him. He helped unpack his things from our car and we hung around for a little while. When it was time for us to go I couldn’t find any real words to say. I just told him that this is not how we thought that this would happen, and I cried and hugged him.

It was over. The adoption had officially fallen apart.

I have been feeling so conflicted lately. Saddened by the loss of an adopted son, yet excited about the arrival of a biological son to be born by November 25th. It is a difficult emotional teeter-totter that I find myself in. I am now finding a balance and am able to talk about all of this, and think about it without fighting off tears. Due to this I really haven’t talked much about any of it, not even to most of my close friends. And honestly not a whole lot with Jaime. I have pulled in and have been guarded, knowing that if I opened up I would crumble. Time has made me stronger and, that is why I am able to write this tonight.

I just completed the first day of week two. I was surprised by how much easier this first day was than the last day of the first week. And I really shocked myself when I did 18 pushups for my maximum set.

Here are the sets that I did:

9 Pushups
8 Pushups
6 Pushups
4 Pushups
18 Pushups (Maximum Set)

This is more than double the amount of pushups I could do just one week ago. So, I am glad to see progress!

I just completed day 3 of the hundredpushups.com program. I am drained but I accomplished making it through week one.

I performed the following sets today:

10 Pushups
8 Pushups
8 Pushups
5 Pushups
Then my Max, which today was 10 Pushups.

I was shooting for a higher max than this, but my arms were shaking so bad to just get number 10 up that I knew I would have to end there.

I am taking this weekend off for a couple days of rest and will begin week two on Monday.

Last Night I did day 2 of the 100 pushup program. I found that these sets were more challnenging than the first day, but I was able to complete them.

Here are the sets (with 60 second breaks between them):
9 pushups, 8 pushups, 6 pushups, 5 pushups, and then Max (as many pushups as you can do)

For my maximum I was only able to do seven pushups after the previous sets. I can also feel my chest and abdominal muscles are burning really good this morning.

Today I began the first day of the 100 pushups program. My initial test had me at a maximum of 7 pushups. This places me in the level 2 category of the program.

Today I did the following sets: 7,7,5,4, and then I was to do as many as I could for my final set. I expected to be worn out and need to stop at 5 or 6 but I was able to go to 11 pushups. I exceeded my previous maximum after doing all of these other sets. I was very surprised by this.

This has me at 34 pushups in less than a 10 minute period of time. Not all too impressive but it is the beginning and I already feel like progress is being made.

I found a program that is designed to take someone who can do very few push ups (someone like me) and take them to doing 100 push-ups in six weeks. (that seems rather impressive, if you ask me) This concept is similar to the Couch to 5K plan for running.

I am going to begin this program this evening along with returning to the Couch to 5K Program. This will give me a good balance of upper body and cardio, which is really all I am looking for in a workout routine.

I will keep everyone posted on my progress and hope to be able to show off a completion badge on the site in just six weeks!

http://hundredpushups.com/
Week 1

I have been a slacker for the good part of the past 4 months. I ran a few times, but not nearly enough to be on track for the half marathon. I have a wide range of excuses, all involving a lot of stress happening in my life right now. But, I am seeing that not being active is likely adding to how the stress affects me. I seem to become lazy, withdrawn, and extra hungry when life becomes stressful. So, the past few months have been bad on the diet front as well as the exercise front. I have gained back 8lbs in the past 4 months. I am certainly moving in the wrong direction.

So, this evening I am going to begin the Couch to 5K plan again and begin logging every crumb that I eat on Gyminee.com, just like I used to do. I need to learn to control my life rather than letting life control me (in regards to diet and exercise).

I also dropped off of the traineo.com discussion forums as well a few months ago. I need to go back there and take part in the discussions to help keep me motivated. I have made poor choices that have helped me fall away from achieving my goal of losing weight and being healthy. I have a baby on the way and need to take care of myself now so I can be with him later. I can’t let stress control how I live.

I know people have been wanting to see some belly pictures. Well, today is your lucky day. Here is Jaime at 22 weeks!

When I was a much younger child I had a semi regular nightmare. I was standing on railroad tracks looking into a tunnel and then all of a sudden a train would appear. I would begin to run but the train would hit me and I would be stuck under the train as it continued on its way. I would wake up screaming with the sensation of being tumbled around underneath the train. I have probably had this dream a dozen or more times in my life. The good news is that I haven’t had this dream since I was 6 or 7 years old. That is until this past weekend.

I woke up late Friday night and Sunday night as I was being dragged underneath a train. It seemed very real. I didn’t wake up screaming this time, but I did wake up in a pool of sweat and completely freaked out as I came to the conclusion that I was at home and in my bed.

I don’t normally have dreams that I remember, and I am not prone to having nightmares either, so it makes me wonder if there is some purpose to these dreams. Maybe I should avoid railroad tracks that lead into tunnels? Maybe I just feel I have no control over a bad situation that is happening in my life? I am not 100% certain, but if this dream is supposed to mean something then I am leaning towards the theory that I currently feel like I am being run over by something that I have no control over, and can’t get out of the way of.

The Adoption process right now is not going as planned and in many ways I feel like ‘the system’ is the train and it is simply going to keep moving forward and will run over anyone that happens to be on the tracks. Now I know that this isn’t really how things are working, I do understand all of the reasons for the complications involved with our Adoption case. Yet, I can’t help but feel this way at times. Soon, I plan to write a much more thorough updated about how things are going with the adoption. I may place it simply as a Facebook note so that only friends and family can see it. That way I can spill out more details than I would be comfortable sharing on this blog.

Well, for tonight I look forward to hopefully having a trainless night this evening.

We learned that the baby is a BOY! I knew it all along.

Hopefully we will have some pictures up on the site soon, I need to get a chance to scan them in. They gave us a ton of good pictures at the last sonogram.

So, the next question everyone asks is, have you thought of any names?

And the answer is YES! We have.

Here are three of the names we currently like.

Jack Bauer Bristow
Jack Lincoln Bristow
Jack Harrison Bristow

And if you want to give us some feedback you can vote on the name you like best at:
http://www.babynamegenie.com/polls/56963

Enjoy!

It has been a while since I have provided a life update, so I thought I would take a moment and share some of the happenings in my life.

Baby Update
The baby is doing well and in two weeks we should be able to learn if the baby is a boy or a girl. I am really excited about this, and Jaime’s belly is beginning to get a bit bigger and we can occasionally feel the baby moving around. Jaime is also feeling better, has more energy and isn’t sick anymore. Yay!

Adoption Update
The process has become complicated, and I don’t really want to share all of the intricacies of how this is going on the blog, so give me a call if you are interested in hearing the ever exciting status of our future 11 year old and 13 year old (just had a birthday two days ago!) You can also follow me on http://twitter.com/jeffbristow and get frequent (literally almost daily) small updates about what is going on in my life. [with Twitter you can get the updates on your mobile phone as a text message if you want, or you can get them through a IM client, or at the Twitter website. It is a really sweet service.]

Exercise
My son and I are going to begin running this evening. I am starting the Couch-to-5k plan over again, and now I have an exercise partner, so the plan to actually lose weight and run a half marathon may still come to fruition.

Eating
I have been making poor eating choices and need to get back to watching my health. I eat when I am stressed, and life has certainly been very stressful lately, so that is my excuse of the moment for falling back into my bad eating habits.

Turning 30
Monday June 30th I turn 30 years old and have organized my own pre-birthday gathering on June 28th. To get more information about this check me out on Facebook, where this event has been organized.

On June 17th my wife and I went up to Tampa to watch the Chicago Cubs play the Tampa Bay Rays. It was an exciting game, and the place was packed with Cubs fans. I would guess 80% of everyone there was there to see the Cubs. Sadly, Tampa Bay won the game, but the Cubs fought up to the last second and had everyone on their feet in the 9th inning.

Here is a picture I took with my cell phone that shows where we were sitting, we had some good seats to see all of the action.

This past week Jaime and I bought Mario Kart Wii for the kids. The kids don’t know we have it yet, but they soon will when they see the steering wheels on the couch in the living room this weekend. So, as all parents should do we ‘tested’ the game this week. And wow, this is an amazingly addictive game. The controls using the steering wheel pull you into the game more, the tracks are visually impressive, and you can use either Go-karts or Motorcycles. And there is a multiplayer option for those times when you really want to get beat up bad by a 5 year old on the other side of the planet. ( I write from experience. )

So, in short if you are wanting some good wholesome family fun, I highly recommend Mario Kart Wii, especially since it only costs a little bit more than taking the family to see one movie at the theatre.

Baby is now at 12 weeks!

And wow, look at the change over the course of just 4 weeks.

4 Weeks Ago